A 32-year-old using a dating app just for oral sex says it’s helped them feel more in control while seeking out casual flings

Headero is a new dating app specifically for people who love oral sex. Getty Headero is a new dating app for people who love oral sex. One of its New York City users, Jae, said filter options help set expectations pre-hookup.

The app takes a more nuanced approach to sex and relationships than others, Jae said of their experience. Jae loves oral sex. But when they seek out these flings on apps like Grindr, they say they’re often met with mismatched expectations once they meet in person.

“When I get approached by people expecting one thing, and I’m not exactly what they anticipated, it leads to a lot of awkward encounters,” Jae, who identifies as a femme non-binary person, told Insider. They asked to omit their last name to maintain their privacy. When the a 32-year-old learned about an app designed specifically for oral-sex lovers called Headero, they were intrigued, but skeptical it’d be a Grindr clone.

After meeting Headero’s founder Stephen Quaderer at a party in New York City in 2021, Jae downloaded the app. Since then, they’ve had in-app conversations with a handful of other users and met with one in person. Jae said an app catered specifically to oral-sex fans was a refreshing and less stressful approach to finding like-minded matches, compared to other dating apps they’ve used.

“I think it definitely helps streamline a lot of the compatibility issues that people tend to have. I’ve reached out to several people over different applications over the years and they take a look at me and say, ‘Sorry, you’re not my type,’ or I’m flat-out ignored,” Jae told Insider. More in-app filters saves time and leads to more genuine connectionsOn Headero, users can add tags to their profiles and filter for matches in a variety of ways, founder Quaderer told Insider.

The first filter asks all users to fill out whether they’re “eager to please” or are “eager to be pleased. ” You can also filter for proximity, gender identity, gender expression, and a five-point value-based rating that comes from users.  For Jae, the specificity has made hooking up through dating apps a more pleasant experience with fewer mismatches and time saved.

“I have more control in bringing certain facets of myself to the forefront. Those that choose to connect with me know exactly what it is they’re looking for,” Jae said, adding that it’s been nice to see other queer people, overweight people, and people of color using Headero. Jae said they’re more upfront about their gender fluidity and feminine mannerisms, for example, because the app allows space for those details, including a “meter” icon that illustrates how gender and sexuality exist on a spectrum.

The app’s sex-positive approach is refreshing, they saidJae also said they tend to take a “lax” approach to hookups, where they’re willing to have a no-strings-attached fling or something that turns into an emotional connection or friendship. Before Headero, Jae had to have those conversations with each new match, since most apps cater to users with varying sexual and relational desires. With Headero, it’s simple to see a match’s intentions up front, which also destigmatizes casual sex, they said.

Now, Jae’s looking forward to Headero’s growth, in the hopes it will bring more potential hookup partners to the oral-sex platform. “I think we’ll all be a whole lot happier when we’re just like, ‘Hey, we’re human beings and a lot of us like to fuck,’ you know?” they said. Read the original article on Insider.