I came back from Hawaii with fond memories and lessons learned. Emily Hochberg/Insider This summer, I went to Oahu, Hawaii, with my husband and 1-year-old on our first big family trip. We made great memories but if I did it all again, I’d be sure to learn from the following mistakes.
From shifting my mindset to winging it for naps, here’s what I wish I did differently. This summer, I planned a vacation to Oahu, Hawaii, with my husband and 1-year-old daughter. It was our first time visiting Hawaii as a family.
Me with my husband and daughter at the Hilton Hawaiian Village Waikiki Beach Resort. Emily Hochberg/InsiderAll pandemic, I longed for a remote tropical getaway. But I kept delaying it, either because COVID-19 transmission rates were too high and I didn’t feel comfortable traveling, I was too overwhelmed while taking care of a baby, or too busy handling a cross-country move from New York City to California.
Finally, this summer, the timing felt right. My family was now West Coast-based and Hawaii seemed like the ideal destination. We planned to visit for a week and split our time between the Hilton Hawaiian Village Resort on Waikiki Beach in Honolulu, Disney’s Aulani Resort & Spa in Ko Olina, and back to Waikiki to the Royal Hawaiian Hotel before we flew out of Honolulu.
We made some great memories and I’m glad we went, but if I could do it all over again, there are a few mistakes we made that I’d handle differently. I first learned that, as a parent, traveling with a small child isn’t a vacation — it’s a trip. I should have had that mindset from the start.
On “vacation” in Hawaii with my daughter. Emily Hochberg/InsiderOur biggest mistake in bringing a 1-year-old to Hawaii? Probably bringing a 1-year-old to Hawaii. I love my daughter more than life itself but she’s a toddler and toddlers are .
. . tough.
Traveling with a toddler is even harder. Due to the pandemic and the nature of having a young child, we didn’t travel much with our daughter since she was born, aside from a few close-to-home getaways. This was our first big vacation outside of the continental US and I was excited.
And while that’s not inherently a bad thing, I should have lowered my expectations from the start. We were headed to paradise, but I wouldn’t even come close to kicking back at the pool with cocktails, reading a good book, or working on my tan. Instead, most of the time I was trying to corral and entertain a jet-lagged 21-month-old with a short attention span who had no desire to go to the beach, got bored of the pool easily, and refused to sit in restaurants for any meals.
Each day I was more tired than the last, frustrated by so many tantrums, and longed to collapse onto a lounge chair or swim in the ocean. I’m still glad we went, but next time, I’ll shift my thinking, expect the worst, and hope for the best. I wish I better prepared for our flights and packed a few key carry-on items.
My daughter sitting on my lap, looking out of the plane window. Emily Hochberg/InsiderI spent a lot of time perfecting my checked-baggage packing list for our weeklong trip. I wish I devoted the same level of attention to my carry-on for our 5-hour flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu.
We had an 8 a. m. flight and by the time we made it through security and to our gate, my daughter was tired.
I didn’t pack enough snacks thinking I’d buy her a pastry at the airport, but the line at Starbucks was so long, we’d miss our flight if we waited, and there was nowhere else to eat in the terminal. Naturally, she refused the items I had on hand, leaving me to contend with a hangry toddler. Fortunately, she fell asleep soon after takeoff across my lap.
But that meant I had to sit in an uncomfortable position for the next few hours and try not to move or risk waking her. I regretted not bringing a sweater or neck pillow to use as a cushion for my elbow, which quickly lost all feeling. The airplane cabin was also stuffy and warm.
I was sweating from carrying my daughter through the airport and quickly realized I had forgotten two other key items to keep cool: a water bottle and a hair tie. On the return flight, I made sure to come better prepared, but I should have packed more diversions to keep my daughter busy. Going there, she was happy to watch the iPad, but coming back, it didn’t interest her as much and I wished I had more distractions to keep her from kicking the seat in front.
When we landed in Hawaii, we picked up a rental car, which I thought would give us freedom to explore and travel between hotels. Booking transfers would have been cheaper. My daughter in the car.
Emily Hochberg/InsiderI booked our weeklong rental car through Costco Travel for $476, which I thought was a good price given the summer travel dates. I wanted a rental car so we wouldn’t be reliant on anyone else to get around and could install my daughter’s car seat once and be done with it. I initially thought it would be the cheapest option, too.
But I forgot about parking. At Hilton Hawaiian Village, the self-parking charge for registered hotel guests is $57 per night; for our three-night stay, it cost $171. At Aulani, a Disney Resort & Spa, self parking is $37 per day, though valet was the same price, so we chose that; for two nights, it cost $74.
Finally, at the Royal Hawaiian, self parking for our two-night stay was $45 per day, so that cost $90. In total, we spent $335 on parking during our trip. We also didn’t end up driving much and mostly stayed at our hotels.
We only used the car to get to and from the airport, switch hotels, and make one afternoon trip to the Honolulu Aquarium. The upside was we only had to fill up the gas once before returning the car, and that cost just $21. Had we relied on airport and hotel transfers, I estimate we would have saved around $100.
Charley’s Taxi, a popular service recommended by each hotel we stayed at, offers flat rates to and from the airport to Waikiki Beach for $31 each way, and $95 each way between Waikiki Beach and the Aulani resort. The service would have cost us around $252. Even with tips or fees added in, I still think it would have been cheaper and someone would have helped us with all our luggage.
While I enjoyed the convenience of being on our own schedule, Hawaii is expensive, and a car wasn’t really necessary for our itinerary. I tried to have too many nice meals at restaurants. Our trip would have been less stressful for everyone if we chose takeout.
Trying to distract my daughter with an iPhone to get her to eat (L), and her hiding behind my dress at our hibachi dinner (R). Emily Hochberg/InsiderI already know it’s unrealistic to expect a toddler to sit quietly in a restaurant for an hour-long meal. But since I hadn’t properly lowered my expectations enough on vacation, I incorrectly thought it would be easy to dine out by the water if we chose somewhere low-key, that wasn’t remotely fancy.
On our first night at the Hilton, we chose a casual beachfront restaurant, but even that was too much for my jet-lagged daughter. She didn’t want to watch videos or sit still. The time change also affected her appetite and she wouldn’t eat foods she normally enjoyed, adding to her fussiness.
So rather than savor the view and my meal, I had to carry a screaming, kicking toddler out of the restaurant to the horror of my fellow diners while my husband averted eye contact and ate his meal alone. Later, I picked a hibachi-style restaurant thinking she’d love the fire and action of the experience. Unfortunately, I didn’t anticipate that strangers in the group dining format would make her shy and run from the table.
She spent the whole meal in the corner, with me or my husband taking turns standing with her. And on our last night, I thought we’d have a quick meal and enjoy final mai tais. But before we could even order, she demanded to run onto the sand with my husband and wouldn’t return.
We would have been better off just doing takeout in a park or on the beach and actually enjoying our meals together. One of my biggest mistakes was clear when we checked into our first hotel and our room wasn’t ready. I neglected to pack day bags to use the pool.
Waiting around for our room to be ready. Emily Hochberg/InsiderWhen we arrived at the Hilton Hawaiian Village Waikiki Beach Resort, we were exhausted, sweaty, and also really excited. The hotel is expansive with five pools, a lagoon, and a prime beachfront location.
It was beautiful, and we were eager to take advantage right away. We dropped our bags with the valet and waited in a lengthy check-in line only to learn our room wasn’t ready. We were free to use the facilities while we waited, but our luggage was already in storage — including our swimsuits.
I could have asked for the bags back, but my antsy toddler was ready to move on from the lobby, and I didn’t really want to splay out our giant suitcases in the middle of an overcrowded check-in area for everyone to witness. So instead of heading straight to the pool, I stayed in my dirty plane leggings and waited at a table until our room was ready. By the time it was, my daughter needed to nap again and we missed out on any afternoon pool time.
From then on, I learned the importance of always having a day bag packed with bathing suits and a change of clothes when arriving to a tropical resort before check-in time. I should have had a better on-the-go nap plan. A rare moment where my daughter fell asleep in her stroller.
Emily Hochberg/InsiderMy daughter has always been a tough sleeper. She needs a lot of support from me or her dad to fall asleep, as well as a dark, cool, quiet room. When you’re on vacation and your room isn’t ready, none of that is available.
She is also one of the few babies on earth who won’t sleep in her car seat or stroller without — and I must stress this — a lot of protest. And on the off chance she does, it’s short-lived. At the Hilton, I knew we’d arrive around nap time, but I thought her plane nap would mean she wouldn’t need another one.
Given our early travel and the time change, though, she was so exhausted, she actually fell asleep in her stroller for perhaps the first time ever — right as we learned our room was ready. When we got up to the room, we tried to take her out and transfer to her crib. We failed miserably.
She was excessively upset and I couldn’t get her back to sleep, nor could I calm her for over an hour, much to the worry, I’m sure, of our hotel neighbors. When we changed hotels to Aulani, I was in the same position. But instead of trying to get her to take a nap, I let her play in the splash pad for as long as she wanted and patted myself on the back for being such an easygoing, flexible parent.
Then all hell broke loose. Her tiredness caught up and she started wailing about anything and everything. She was mad that she couldn’t swim in the lazy river — she does not know how to actually swim — angry that I offered her anything but the lazy river, and livid that I wouldn’t let her walk face-first into a pool of water.
There was no calming her as I walked her, strolled her, and shushed her. My only solace in the public outburst was the fact we were at a Disney resort. Is it even a Disney vacation if someone doesn’t have a meltdown? We fit right in.
Most of this was unavoidable given our itinerary, but next time I’ll look for ways to guarantee early or late checkout, or, better yet, stay in just one hotel the whole trip to avoid this from happening multiple times. When our room wasn’t ready at check-in at Aulani, I should have checked with hotel staff about it sooner than I did. Trying to soothe my girl at Aulani.
Emily Hochberg/InsiderIt turned out that my daughter’s blowup at Aulani due to her skipped nap was totally avoidable. I just didn’t know it. When I checked in, I was instructed to download the hotel’s app to stay informed of activities, amenities, and more.
The staff handed me my room keys, which they said would be activated when my room was ready so I wouldn’t have to come back to the front desk. I was also told I’d get a call or text from the front desk when my room was ready. I never did.
When I opened my app that afternoon while waiting, I saw a room number pop up. I thought this was just standard practice. I didn’t realize it meant my room was actually ready.
I kept waiting around for a call or text. Finally, at 3 p. m.
, the official check-in time, I went back to the front desk only to learn my room had been available for hours, as seen on the app. While the hotel was apologetic and offered me $50 resort credit for the inconvenience, my daughter’s nap was long gone and I was mad at myself for not asking earlier when I saw the room number listed. Next time, I’ll definitely check in more regularly about the status of my room, especially if a meltdown is on the brink of taking place.
My daughter was a big fan of the pools, especially kiddie waterslides. I wish I had a waterproof phone holder so I could have captured more memories. My daughter loved the waterslide at Hilton Hawaiian Village Waikiki Beach Resort.
Emily Hochberg/InsiderSome of the best times we had on our trip were splashing around the pool. My daughter loved wading in the shallow end at each hotel pool, running back and forth through splash pads at Aulani, and sitting in my lap to zip down a waterslide for little ones at Hilton Hawaiian Village Waikiki Beach Resort. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her as happy and I wish I had more photos of her in the water.
We got some, but I would have taken so many better ones if I wasn’t so nervous about getting my phone wet or dropping it in the pool. I saw many parents with their phones properly protected in cases dangling from lanyards around their neck and knew I made a mistake by not purchasing one, too. I especially regretted not having one when all three of us sat successfully — and safely — on a raft to ride around a lazy river at Aulani.
It was such a wonderful family moment, but there was no way to get in and out of the raft without a waterproof case. There was a lot we did wrong on this trip. But I don’t regret it for one second.
I’ll cherish the memories we made on this trip, good and bad. Emily Hochberg/InsiderGoing to Hawaii was not a vacation, nor was it the idyllic island escape I initially envisioned. But thinking back on everything that went wrong makes me laugh, and remembering my daughter light up while listening to Hawaiian music or going down a waterslide makes my heart smile.
I’ve mostly forgotten the tears and the frustration and now when I look at pictures from our trip, I think, “Wow, what a fun time. We should do that again. “But you can bet that the next time we travel, I’ll have a better plan for naps, check-in, and meals — I hope, anyway.
As parents, we’re all just trying our best. Read the original article on Insider.
From: insider
URL: https://www.insider.com/hawaii-with-kids-biggest-mistakes-you-might-make-2022-10
